Growing pains

They always say things start going downhill after you turn 21, 30, 40, 50, whatever. I had another discussion with a friend about the entitlement of happiness. The consensus was that happiness is what you make of it. It's all about perspective, and making the most of what you have.

The past few weeks have seriously sucked. It's not easy growing up. (Or having grown up too fast.) To be there for your family when they need you, to do your job well - in this case to study hard etc. - and to take care of yourself. Basically, being an adult. I think it takes a lot of compartmentalization in your mind to separate rational thought, systematic planning, and crazed emotions so that you can function properly throught the day/week without feeling too fucked up. Does it get worse? A full time job, dating, paying rent and bills, helping to pay for your brother and sister's college tuition/expenses? Then when you're 30-something, add kids to that equation plus a morgage and 4 times your perishables consumption and you've got a granite sphere flying down the north face of Everest.

So I guess the whole point of college for me....... is really to learn a lot about myself. Where I stand in terms of comfort zones, life plans, etc. The things I want to be, and the things I DON'T want to be. It's painful, but... it's gotta be done.
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"Pain is weakness leaving the body." - Some sick fuck.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” - Lance Armstrong

“People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.” - Jim Morrison