Second Skin

I'm trying really hard to remember who I was talking to... but she asked me if I feel like I have to watch what I say around people in school, girls especially. (It's prob Rachael but... I can't say for sure.) And it took me a while to answer. Initially I had said "no, not really." Not really = sometimes I do. Here's an example of something I might NOT say at school:

*at Bloomingdale's on Xmas Eve*

Me: That gift card's cute.
V: Did you just call that card cute?
Cashier Lady smiles.
Me (to Lady): Why, is that a word that guys don't use?
Cashier Lady: No, not too much.

CUTE. Why the fuck can't guys use the word cute? If a dog's cute, it's cute. If a girl's cute, she's cute. If a baby's cute, it's cute. So why can't inanimate objects be cute? How the fuck else would you say it?? "That is very pleasant looking." EVEN GUYS DON'T SAY THAT. That would come across as ODD/WEIRD/GAY. And then you'd say: "Guys just don't say anything." Well guess what assholes, just too fucking bad. I like to comment and vocalize my appreciation for an item's 'cute-ness'. If you can't deal with it, fuck you!

Right. Back to the point. I feel that at Penn State, you somehow have to make sure your diction is "manly". For a college-aged male, you can't talk about shoes, fashion, furniture, etc. Very... aesthetic things. You can't call clothes beautiful. You can't say you love to wear pastel, that you like to accessorize, and make sure shit matches. That makes you GAY. (Fuck, since when was making sure you look nice a crime.) You just gotta.... put shit together and DO it.

(For those of you who know, you know for a fact that I'm probably one of the farthest from man-love. I have nothing against gays, but I just love women too much.)
But I think it is the lack of a freedom of verbal diarrhea that adds to my feeling of being trapped in a box at State College. You have to be so calculative at certain times when you talk to people, because they are ever so quick to judge. Saying the wrong thing could totally kill your game, but saying the fake right things... how long's that gonna last?


Oh, and apparently women love it when you notice details, but you shouldn't be TOO observant. Agreed. That would be fucking creepy. But would it be a crime to say her accessories match her eyes?